becoming a demon seems like a good career option
when you find out an actor you think is cute is around 32 and you’re like “wow he’s really young”
that’s when you know you have a problem
the best pranks are the super harmless ones
like why would you pull someones pants down in public or like put them in danger or humiliate them when you can just baffle them by leaving tiny plastic camels all over their house or taping bill cosby’s face over every single face in every picture in their house?
Last year the seniors had a mariachi band follow the principle for 3 hours
ScarJo looks like she had been waiting her entire career to do that with Sandra.
i like this but i don’t know why.
I would like to ask you just a few questions about what happened to you.
im funnier online where I can’t stutter
My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK
YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD
MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE
"This is my ALS ice bucket challenge. Please be forewarned: this video contains nudity & an inflatable horse." [x]
i love that west is like NO IT’S TOO COLD and maison is just like “here daddy let me wash you”